Getting Pulped

I wasn't able to do a blog report from our game two weeks ago, as the pain was just too dear. Dangerous Jane is dead. It was tragic -- ok, no it wasn't it was damned stupid. Jane and the Shadow tried ambushing Lloyd's Llads and Helmut von Strohmann of Ulm. Jane went for the Funkengruvenwagen with her grenades. While the vehicle had been crippled, the Llads responded with their own grenades AND a mortar. On the upside, Jane survived the grenades and actually caught the mortar shell as it fell from the sky.

Then in a fit of excitement she spiked it like a football. Immediately thereafter she tried to spread herself out over as wide an area as possible.

But the Galoots ain't out of it yet. Sammo now takes the lead, and with that he gets a few upgrades. Gang leaders get a single trait -- Baron Helmut for example has "Meet My Minions!". You can also take a flaw, which allows a gang leader to take a second trait. So now Sammo is a camouflaged saboteur with a code of honor. His Code says he cannot kill someone he defeats in hand-to-hand combat... soooo he'll just hang back and shoot people with his Bren.

Last week's game got off to a late start due to alcohol and intelligent conversation that (due to the aforementioned substance) degraded towards silly with the occasional outburst of "Ode to Joy." Trust me, you had to be there.

With us was BD's friend Matt, so we introduced him to our pulp game the easy way -- we gave him a gang roster and dove on in to our only round -- a meeting engagement with the potential for loot, loot and more loot!

Behold the European town of Schannerburg. Very idyllic and happy place -- happy to see us leave at least. You'd think the real estate market would be better here, but for some reason all the houses we visited were riddled with bullet holes.

We set up our gangs and got to work. Unfortunately, Sammo's newfound ability couldn't be used on weapons, so he couldn't jam potatoes in Lloyd's mortar. Also, Lloyd opted not to bring the Funkengruvenwagen because it still needed some time in the shop. That's what he said. I think he just needed to clean up the skid marks in the upholstery.

Matt's aviators set out looking for markers, and Sammo and the Galoots moved to take the well near the center of the town. As Matt and I were sitting next to each other at the table, I knew conflict was inevitable, but I held off while the FNG got the hang of the game. Besides, there was only five of me and seven of him.

Meanwhile the Shadow and his cop cronies went mostly to engage Lloyd's Llads. Breaking off from the vanguard, Trixie Molloy and the Stiletto went to the town square in search of a really good pastrami on rye. Little did they know that Sammo was taking cover, getting ready to serve them a lead salad!

Helmut's cronies were left to their own devices for the most part... actually that's not accurate. They were left to the town's devices. BD drew three for three in the traps portion of the deck, and that was even after he forced Evil Bob at fartpoint to reshuffle the damn thing. So the hills were alive with the sound of explosions... and expletives. Lots of them.

I had some problems of my own. One was Joanna Justice and that damned gas gun of hers. Granted she can't hit the whole barn let alone the broadside of one, but I wasn't taking chances. In addition, Matt's aviators were taking potshots at my henchmen.

Luckily, the intensive one-day training seminar proved fruitful, and my henchmen responded appropriately by scurrying for cover.

Between that and the pounding the village square was getting thanks to Lloyd's mortar, I was unable to get to the well or take out Joanna or the Stiletto. She managed to get her pastrami on rye, while the Stiletto brandished his sword cane in a threatening manner and "bravely" ran away.

Matt, however was applying as much pressure as he could have because Helmut and his gang were getting a little close. However, Helmut was only hoping to sway the Aviators to his side by delivering a stirring rendition of "Ave Maria." For help with that, he brought Dr. Toba and the Serenity Singers.

While Dr. Toba is pretty sick on the skins, the Serenity Singers really don't have that extensive a range. Or harmony. Or a complete set of vocal cords. Before you could say Ballroom Blitz the scrum was on. Sammo had moved a bit to get a better view of the beatings, but was clipped by one of Helmut's men with a submachine gun. Not to be outdone, Sammo turned around and showed that what a REAL machine gun can do.

You would expect that an inexperienced gang like the Aviators would suffer a gruesome fate, especially with Helmut in the mix. However, Lady Luck was not with BD. The dice were as cold as the encounter deck, and for three whole rounds, the Aviators kept the Grrmans at bay. They even took out Helmut's backup singers in the process.

But it wasn't a complete loss for Helmut. Radio McMookenstein found a chest in one of the buildings and --

Whoops!!! Before you could say "Get 'em off me!" the nefarious insects nibbled away his nihilistic netheregions, neutralizing the Nazi. And with that they scurried elsewhere for tastier prey.

Rumor has it the Shadow's Gang was acting of their own accord without their boss, but as this "artist's rendering" shows, the man himself was zipping from roof top to roof top with the aid of his grappling gun. It should be noted that the collection box in the church pictured here was empty after the battle. The Shadow: Public Hero or Public Menace? I report, you decide (that I'm right).

Shortly after this the game wound down due to the hour growing late. I was fortunate enough to get away with some loot and only lose one henchman. The Shadow made out like a bandit, but BD's Zeppelin Troops suffered the worst, losing five guys (including Radio McMookenstein). And now Lloyd's Llads are llooking to buy themselves a tank. Like the rest of us don't have enough problems...